Because He First Loved

After all, it's still about the results

2008-03-17T22:56:00.003+08:00

Heh with the recent release of the "A" level results, i guess many 19 year olds were either happy, disappointed or somewhere in between. well after all the "A"s do determine admission into uni and since uni education does sorta determine where we end up in our future careers, i guess you can say that it would be one of the most, if not THE most imporatnt examination in our life. and so the results were released and i saw amongst the various 19 year olds i know a rather diverse mix of reactions. some were contented with their 3 or 4 As along with their Cs or Bs in GP (yes i think its super hard to get an A in GP) or KI, whilst many others weren't that happy with their A along with the other Bs and Cs. some were so disappointed that they didnt even dare to face their parents.

I guess that yeah in the end it really is all about the reslts. thats the main purpose of education isn't it? to get results and ultimately and education and a job. well i personally havent been exactly doing well in JC these past year and 2 months or so. my defiition of not doing well = not passing ALL my subjects at any one examination. well yeah i guess on my part i have been lazy (though i think physics is really just ...) but somehow i feel that results shouldnt define who we are and what we an be! i mean, yeah sure results are important there's no denying that. but i guess that there's really much more to life, and faring poorly at a major examination doesn't really mean that you're doomed and condemned and are sure to fail in life. haha

I guess people these days especially us students have to really learnt to take things esay and more in our stride. ima sure that all of us that have learnt to do so would find life, especially ths stressful one that im sure many of us have, much more easier to handle! i mean life's not gna be any easier in future and learnng to take things in our stride will definately help us cope better when the REAL challenges come up in future! so yeah stidents, lets work hard and put in our due effort but if our results dont come out as expected, dont worry or get discouraged! just do better the next time! ALL of us are meant for something GREAT! trust me. =)

Blog Revival

2008-03-15T02:00:00.004+08:00

Hello people =) im back after almost 7 or 8 months of silence. Surprisingly this blog is still around with the tagboard and stuff. haha i thought tey would have removed it or something. why this sudden urge to blog again? maybe bcos dad got a new laptop which he says is "mine" but he takes it when he goes overseas. but ohwells haha i guess its better than nothing!

Well much has happened this year and year 2 life is seriously much much tougher than year 1 life. not to mention of coure the added syllabus and sccool workload but also with all the added responsibilities in CCAs and stuff. but hey i'm still doing fine so thank God! =) also this year i've started morning prayer sessions with a few of my classmates zhongs birdy salad and terry! haha. well i guess its just something that God had been speaking ont my heart, to relly just gather the christians in my class and pray for our classmates! at the same time to be accountable to each other!

well march holidays will soon be over haha so enjoy while you can before we head back to school to collect our dreaded CT results! haha hopefully this time i can clear all my papers whch should be possible haha since physics H1 paper was rather manageble. but well to those who didnt do as well as they expected, don't be sad k! i always tell my friends results are important but they shouldnt define us as a person! theres so much more in life to live for! so let PRESS ON!

haha just some pictures. im pretty new at this picture posting thingy.

classmates of 07S52! Bernetta so extra crash the picture.

girls from S52! somehow i think that in all the pictures i take, my eyes look like they're closed. i wonder why.

thank you for giving me something to live for

2007-07-18T23:25:00.001+08:00

Got back my fantastic results for mid years. Did "surprisingly" well got GP and Econs got E and a D well it was quite good considering what the rest of my classmates got and the cohort as a whole for econs. haha. But yeah i think VJ's really saddistic reminding us and giving out our promotional exam timetable like 7 weeks in advance. But yeah time really flies and before you know it promos are here so yeah gotta buck up holidays are over.

I must say that this year has really been, well and eye-opening one for me if you would. A whole new environment, a whole new lifestyle, new friends, new classmates, new teachers. I can say that i've made a few good and close friends along the way, friendships that go way past the superficial level. And i really would like to thank God for placing these few around me. Cause really sometimes when all's not wel be it at school or at home, all we sometimes really need is a friend to pour out our problems to, someone who would just listen. And really i'm beggining to see some of the gifts that God has gave me coming into play in this new environment. I've always felt in my heart that i had been given the gift of encouragement and comfort, and really i have seen this gift that i have being used to comfort those around me who sometimes face difficulties or problems and i'd really like to thank my creator for giving me such a wonderful gift.

thank you lord for giving me something to live for

The Stand

Hillsongs United

You stood before creation

Eternity within Your hand

You spoke all life into motion

My soul now to stand

You stoodore my failure

Carried the Cross for my shame

My sin weighed upon Your shoulders

My soul now to stand

So what can I say

What can I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

I walk upon salvation

Your Spirit alive in me

This life to declare Your promise

My soul now to stand

So I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand

My soul Lord to You surrendered

All I am is Yours

the world's such a sad place

2007-07-11T20:13:00.001+08:00

I really dont know what to say. So much has been happening. And i just feel that the world's now such a sad sad place. It wasnt meant to be like this.

We actually dont realise how blessed we are, till we actually take time to count our blessings. haveing great friends, a loving family, good health, all these things we take for granted. When things dont go our way we say our life sucks. But hey take a good look at your life, you are blessed whether you realise it or not.

So hey. Count your blessings, cause you might never know when it'll all just be taken away.

When i say i am a christian

2007-07-06T18:34:00.001+08:00

Read this off althea's blog ( who read it off someone else's blog), and i found it to be really meaningful. A christian isnt someone who's spotless. A christian isnt someone that's never done wrong or will never do wrong. A christian isnt someone thats holier than others. A christian is someone that has been touched by the grace and love of God. As simple as that.

I'm a Christian by Maya Angelou
When i say... "i am a Christian,
"i'm not shouting "i'm clean livin'.
i'm whispering "i was lost,
Now i'm found and forgiven.

"When i say... "i am a Christian,
"i don't speak of this with pride.
i'm confessing that i stumble,
And i need Christ to be my guide.

When i say... "i am a Christian,
"i'm not trying to be strong.
i'm professing that i'm weak,
And need his strength to carry on.

When i say... "i am a Christian,
"i'm not bragging of success.
i'm admitting i have failed,
And need God to clean my mess.

When i say... "i am a Christian,
"i'm not claiming to be perfect.
my flaws are far too visible,
But God believes i am worth it.

When i say... "i am a Christian,
"i still feel the sting of pain.
i have my share of heartaches,
So i call upon His name.

When i say... "i am a Christian,
"i'm not holier than thou.
i'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace somehow.

And i guess this song below really says it all.

Amazed

Lincoln Brewster

You dance over me

while I am unaware

You sing all around

but I never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You

And how You love me

You paint the morning sky

with miracles in mind

My hope will always stand

For You hold me in Your hand

How deep how wide

How great is Your love for me

Its what you do when theres no one around

2007-07-06T18:34:00.000+08:00

Well these couple of weeks have been really, well , testing in that sense. You know everytime i go attend a youth conference or go to church camps, i just get so fired up for christ, wanting to win the world win my campus for him. I get visions dreams of the many great things that my God can do through and in me. Yet somehow when i get back home, when the door closes and im all alone, that fire soon extinguishes and dies. And i slump back to way i was before, unassuming living each day as it comes, not living the life that i want to.

This sorta got me thinking. Cause at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter if you're at a hillsongs or planetshakers conference jumping your hearts out feeling so powered by the holy spirit, what matters is that when the door closes, when no ones looking, when all else is quiet - do we still have that fire and passion in us to live out God's plan for us? What matters is the decisions that we choose to make, the friends we choose to hang out with, the values that guide our lives.

Im real tired from slipping back into that state of disconnectedness from God and i would really like to live life knowing that He's in charge of it all , be it in the area of studies, friends and relationships, and that i'll never ever have to worry.

Surrender

Chris Tomlin

I'm giving you my heart,
and all that is within
I lay it all down
for the sake of you my King

I'm giving you my dreams,
I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride
for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you,all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song,
I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear,
I count it all as loss

For the sake of knowing You
for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy,
even sharing in Your pain

MID YEARS OVER ! ! + mindless ramblings

2007-06-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

HEH the mid years was a disaster. And apparently my class thinks the same way too. After every paper i see them smiling, albeit for the wrong reasons. " Jason how the paper? " No reply just laughter. Well i guess that says everything. Heh. Well cant blame anyone i guess i myself studied like half an hour the day before my physics exam before feeling so hopeless that i just went to watch TV. Haha. All i can hope for now is not to get S S S U or worse. haha.

Recently i've seen so many friends and classmates around me bugged by relationship problems and BGR and all that. Being loved and having someone to love i would say is one of the most important and satisfying feelings a human can and should have. It's really the basis for us feeling happy in that sense. ( VJ students remember GP??) But yeah i'm actually a die hard romantic that believes that for every guy there's a specific girl out there for him and vice versa. Its really just a matter of waiting. And i will say that the patient (not as in sick person lol) will be rewarded. So yeah it's just a matter of waiting.

So yeah my advice to those looking for a relationship or are already in one, be patient to know that he or she is the right one before committing yourself fully to that relationship. A good and healthy relationship will definitely bring benefits to you and your partner but a relationship entered just for the sake of entering it wil only bring trouble and bitterness in the future. So yeah wait and you'll be rewarded. Trust me. =)

Apart from that i was horrified to find a crack on the bottom of my beloved taylor. Its a guitar for those of you who dont know and i treat it as my wife. So imagine how you would feel if your wife has a very big cut and it seems really painful. Yeah thats how i feel i know its a lousy analogy but its the best i can think of. So bringing it down to hospital for treatment on monday. Yup there actually is a guitar hospital here down town at dhoby ghaut area. haha how cool is that.

Till next time.

BACK

2007-06-16T02:27:00.000+08:00

Well my blog's just about dead. Nevermind im back. Hur Hur.

Well it's been about a month or two since i last blogged. Alot has happened, from our SYF to Perfect Fifth guitar concert, to the newly concluded family camp at melacca. trying very hard to catch up on school work in preparation for the mid years which are just creeping round the corner in a week's time. Hoping that by some miracle i'll be able to finish revising everything and be able to at last pass my mid years.

Well all i can say is that this period of time has been a testing one. Due to school and cca and stuffs i guess that i really just disconnected from God. And i can say that a life without him by your side really isn't all to pleasant at all. It's like living a life of no meaning when each and every day you go about doing the same things, performing the same routine, with the knowledge in mind that all this would come to an end when we leave the earth.

You know whats tragic? Death isn't tragic. It's dying while you live. That's tragic. It's not having a purpose to live for and just whiling your time away on this earth that's tragic. yeah dying while you live.

And i can say that i've really experienced that in the last few months. JC life isn't all that easy with school work and cca committements and stuff. But like his word says the joy of the Lord shall be my strength. And im thankful that i can draw strength from him. So i know that when the world throws what she has at me, i can be assured in the fact that he's right there above me dancing while i am unaware. =)

HOHOHO SYF HERE WE COME

2007-04-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

Been quite awhile since i last posted. Guess i've been busy with school and practices and stuff. SYF's NEXT WEEK ! ! haha. so exciting cos this would be my one and only syf experience i'll ever get i guess. haha. ALL THE WAY VJ ! !

Heh many times i see people around me feeling "emo" or so they call it. Like they feel that life sucks, school sucks, everything just seems so screwed up. Too much homework too little time. teachers picking on me all the time. wow it rhymes. but yea i mean for those of you that are feeling "emo", think about it, since life's like that, why not try to accept it? at least it'll make you a happier person to say the least. time waits for no man and when the time comes, i guess we just gotta move on yeah? i mean life can't come to a standstill just cos you think that life sucks and feel like the world owes you something can it? Life has to go on. Theres homework to be done, tests to study for, new friends to be made ! ! LIFE HAS TO GO ON ! !

So to all you emo people out there. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Snap back and move on with life. Cause at the end of the day, when all's been said and done, im certain you'll end up feeling much much more happier and satisfied, than if you had not.

Blessings just rain down

2007-03-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

Hey all. This week's been a really slack week, cos of arts day on wednesday and sports day on friday. Well as always JC life has been real fun, at the same time stressful when the pace seems to be so fast, and you can't understand a thing the lecturer is saying. Trust me, to the "O" level students this year, Os may seem big, but once you come to JC, they seem like chicken feed. So yeah just hope that i'll be able to cope with all the stuff thats been going on.

Well I proud to say that I'm now the President of VJC's guitar ensemble! Yay ! haha. Thank the Lord that he's really just blessed me with this opportunity in my CCA. Its really amazing when God's blessings just keep raining down on you, even when you don't know it. So yeah i guess many of us gotta just take a step back in life, and just realise how really blessed we are! I dont know about you, but ive been really blessed by the Lord. You know its real ironic when many times we want so much more materialistically, you know the newest handphone, laptop, latest fashion, when what we dont realise is that many of us are real blessed already. Well i guess thats human nature isn't it? We're just never satisfied and we just want more and more. But yeah i guess what we have to learn to do is just be contented with what we have. Cause the future is really unpredictable, one day you may be here, next day you're gone. So yea instead of constantly pursuing materialistic things, why not take a step back and just count your blessings, Only then i guess will one know how blessed he is. =)

Here's a song i wrote some time back. No matter what we do, we know that god is always there for us, and sometimes all we have to do is ask him to take us back. =)

Take Me Back

Verse

When i turned my back on you

Your love prevailed

When i broke my covenant

Your mercy shone

Pre Chorus

Now that my hearts grown cold

I'm desperate for your holy fire

Let your presence be felt once more

Your will be done

Chorus

Father take me back

To the foots of the cross

Father lead me in

Past your kingdom gates

Father be with me

As i walk this path

Father live in me

From now till the end of time

Its been a long time eh

2007-03-26T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hey all its been a real long time since i last posted and i think my blog is about dead by now. Haha its not cos i dont wanna post or anything just that everytime i try to post some error will crop up and in the end im unable to post yea so finally managed to solve the problem so here i am !

Well in a nutshell the past few weeks have really just flown by, from the release of posting results, Orientation 2, the march holidays and stuff. and i really cant believe that we're back here in school term 2 week 2 already. Time really seems to fly when we're having fun doesnt it? But yea now school's reopened i guess its time to get down to serious work so let the mugging begin ! =)

Applied for EXCO position in guitar ensemble and till now just a day before the speeched and votings we still do not know whether we're shortlisted. Haha no surprise. But i really do hope i at least get into the EXCO, cause its my only CCA and if i dont, well then i would have to find another CCA, and i dont wanna find another CCA cause guitar is quite slack so yea i like things the way things are. =)

Well suring the March hols i attended Synergiz, a youth conference organised by Assemblies Of God (AG) held at my church at tampines. Like all conferences, the worship was great, the messages were powerful and stuff but i didnt really feel much throughout the entire conference. Even on the last night when its supposed to be the best and most impactful nothing stirred within me. Haha i still remembered last year when i attended the conference i was weeping on the last night of the conference haha. But yea i didnt really feel God move.

Well lo and behold how much God impacted me didnt really show itself till the day after when i was scheduled to play for morning service at church. During practice i somehow felt so suffocated and like i just wanted to get off the stage. I was literally considering asking the worship leader whether i could dont play for the service. Even when the rest of the band was playing i just stood by the side not even touching my instrument. Got a little short tempered with the sound guys even. Then i realised this one statement that Jeff Deyo, the worship leader during the conference, made just tore me apart. He said, " You don't deserve to be on stage leading people in worship, if you yourself do not worship." I realised how true that was. And i began to ponder right before service started, do i really deserve to be on stage?

But yea i thank God that gradually hes showing me how to worship again. Its time to return to my first love i guess. =)

Tired Tired Tired

2007-02-19T23:28:00.003+08:00

Well all i can say is that its been a hectic week, despite the CNY holidays. Had cross country in wednesday and IM PROUD OF MYSELF. Haha. Well i didnt get the 600+ position i had expected but rather 5**. Haha. Well its not bad, considering my standard. After cross country, the whole bunch of us S52 trooped off to our Civics Tutor's house. MISS WONG ROCKS ! How many teachers you know will be so kind as to open their house and let their students in?? Haha. Well we went over and once in her house and after an awkward perios of silence and nothingness, out flew the playing cards and mini mahjong set! All i can say is im surrounded by a bunch of gamblers. Haha. Well i participated also la, haha, but im not as hardcore as they are. Especially SOMEONE who started with $5 and was left with like 30 cents?! ( I shan't mention names haha) And so we spent the entire afternoon just lazing around and stoning in the comfort of our CT's house. Haha.

Musicfest auditions on friday was a DISASTER. For the sake of my beloved S52 i asked the SC ( Student Council ) people to allow us to audition earlier cause we had PE during our original timeslot and bein the upright and honest student i was i didn't want to pon. So we went on earlier and then things went downhill. I couldn't find an amplifier for my guitar that worked even when i told the SC before hand to prepare one for us. After much hassle i just decided to mike up my guitar. As the song started i moved closer to the mike so that my voice could be heard. But one step forward and FEEDBACK ! So bo bian just had to stand far away and sing. But what was really disappointing was that the judges didn't allow us to finish our song. Just when we were about to go into the bridge to showcase our band dynamics a councillor pressed the bell signalling to us that it was time for us to go. Well i guessed that one bad thing just leads to another doesn't it? Well i believe everything happens for a reason, and instead of complaining like i just did, haha, I'll just thank the Lord for giving us a chance to perform that song in front of such a big crowd, cause i know that even if we didn't get in, im sure He knew that we did our best and we'll just have to trust in His plan. Thank You Lord ! =)

Well its getting late still have to be up bright and early tomorrow for worship duty. Ciao !

On the 3rd day of Chinese New Year...

2007-02-19T23:28:00.002+08:00

Its been a long long long day. Haha. Was out the whole day and now im literally typing this with my eyes half closed. Woke up at around 11am ONLY BECAUSE i slept at 2am the night before. Went to jamming studio at aljunied to practise for musicfest auditions with waihong and the gang. And only today did i find out that there was something wrong with my voice... Eujinn says it sounds lazy.... well i call that UNIQUE ... Haha. But i really do think that sometime i speak too fast and dont pronounce my words clearly.. Well bad habit die hard...

After jamming went over to the kangs house before going over to sis sharons place. Before we left, Yisi was sitting on her couch watching her teary jerky Korean drama in her jeans. 3 hours later when we came back, she was still watching .... STILL IN HER JEANS ! ! Maybe she finds it comfortable or something or maybe, and highly likely, shes too lazy to climb up a flight of stairs to change into something more comfortable. Ahh the power of KOREAN DRAMAS.

Cross country tomorrow... I feel like ponning or maybe halfway along the route pretend i have a stomachache and run into the toilet and hide. When the rest turn back then i'll join them. But being the upright and honest PAP i am in my classmates eyes ( auntie even said that guys like me are extinct ), i shant destroy the image i have built up in their eyes and submit my body to the trecharous 4.8 km run.

Well anyway its time to sign off here, lest i fall asleep while running tomorrow. Ok i know that wasnt funny but its anytime better than zhini's jokes.

Haha.

FINALLY ITS UP

2007-02-19T23:28:00.001+08:00

After much toiling i finally got the template done. Haha. And its already 1am in the morning. Haha auntie's still keeping me company now i know why she feels so tired on normal school days (not my real auntie, shes my classmate) haha. But tomorrow being a public holiday i guess it gives us the liberty of sleeping in late. Haha.

I guess this blog would be mostly about daily happenings in school and such, but i guess thats what most blogs are about. Well im trying to make this blog different. I'll post also about my journey with christ. I dont think many would do this but i hope that by doing so, those reading my blog, both believers and non-believers alike, would be encouraged and assured that throughout all life's challenges and struggles, theres always a God up in heaven watching over you. =)

Well yesterday after i came home from CNY visitations i sat down to watch this VCD from Chris Tomlin's Indescribeble tour by Louie Giglo. And at that moment it was impressed upon my heart how very small we are, and how big this universe really is, and yet the creator of this universe still knows each and everyone of us by name.

But what REALLY gave me the goosebumps was a picture of a galaxy 31 million light years away. ( a light year is approximately 5.88 trillion miles, go do the math).

Wow. That was all i could say. Its a picture of the cross in a GALAXY ! ! When i saw that picture, it was for me true affirmation that our God does exist, and in a very real way indeed, so real that he left his mark on an entire galaxy. Wow.

Ian

me blogging??

2007-02-19T23:28:00.000+08:00

Don't know why I suddenly felt this urge to start a blog of my own. Haha maybe it is just to see what all the fuss about blogging is or maybe I really think that this may be a way of expressing myself. Haha. Im actually a very shy person. In case you people didnt know that.

Ian